My abortion story is hilarious

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So, this post is the story of my abortion. Abortion is NOT funny. Not in ANY way. But, my experience was strangely hilarious. But if you don’t want to laugh while reading about abortion then turn away now.

I wasn’t sure about telling this story. I thought “It’s not a dating story”   but then I realized that what is more of a dating story than an unwanted pregnancy? It’s one of THE biggest perils of a woman’s sex life.

I got pregnant, the guy I was dating whined about condoms and didn’t bother to pull out, despite my insistence he do so. He “didn’t feel like it”.  Well, I didn’t feel like breeding so I scheduled an abortion.

I was living in a spiritual community at the time. Two older women in the community went with me to the clinic. It was a wonderful clinic. I was absolutely terrified. We were in the exam room, waiting. My friends were doing their best to keep me calm. Then the doctor came in, wearing a neck brace. I’m not exactly sure why that was so disconcerting but it made me even more nervous. My friends were stifling laughter, it was so absurd. But they got it together. I didn’t fault them for laughing. I could see that it was funny, even if laughing was impossible at that moment.

The doctor, AKA neck brace, began by inserting the speculum, one of those plastic ones that are so much more comfortable than the cold heavy metal ones.  He turned away for a moment and the speculum literally SHOT OUT and FLEW across the room, narrowly missing the doctor. My friends explode in laughter. Neck brace says “Oh!  I’ve never seen that happen before!”  I was mortified. My friends choked back their laughter. Neck brace carried on and the procedure was done without another mishap. So the actual abortion was not funny, just everything else.

At the time it was just something to get through. But now it’s one of the funniest stories I have to tell. I’m so glad I can laugh about it now. And I’m so grateful I wasn’t forced to breed with that jackass who wouldn’t pull out. No one should be forced to breed.

I never did make use of my hidden skill for shooting objects out of my cunt. But there’s still time.

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