actual image garnered from searching “great sex afterglow”
After about 2 weeks of waiting, sexting, some last-minute cancellations and lots of time spent decidedly not texting him, we finally got together. It was fantastic. And way too short. Not the sex, just the time window. He has an insanely busy job. He said he’d come back in the evening if the work got done. And he texted to say it wasn’t gonna be possible. At 2 he texted to say he just got done. I get it. But damn, I’d love to get to hang out for a whole day & night, fuck & cuddle, eat, walk, go for gelato, repeat. I don’t know if I’ll ever get an overnight date. And I get it. He’s busy. He’s self-proclaimed “not relationship material”. Yeah. Ok.
But I just wonder if I was better, different, something, would I be more compelling to make time for? I probably wouldn’t still be single if I was better/different/something.
I’m super grateful for the tiny amount of time I’m getting with this guy. It’s really great. He’s fully present. But then he get’s antsy and I can tell by the quality of his touch during post-sex cuddling that he’s about to bolt. I get it. But I’d love to have someone who stuck around a while. Who wanted to take me on adventures, or do absolutely nothing.
Apparently science says that the great sex afterglow lasts 48 hours. So I guess by tomorrow afternoon I’ll be ragingly horny again. Great. It’ll be July by the time vaguely reminiscent of Benedict Cumberbatch has time to grace me with his gorgeous body again.
This is good. It’s way better than nothing. After almost 3 years of absolute celibacy its divine. But I want more. I’m still dating, trying to at least. The options are largely unappealing. I can’t expect this guy to change and fall in love with me. It’s not a Lifetime movie. I do have a tiny shred of hope that we might move towards an actual relationship but I keep that shit in check. I know it’s unlikely. I don’t even know if we’d be good together. At arm’s length it’s impossible to know. If someone comes along who is great and truly available I’m going to engage with that. But for now I’m waiting for that sweet harp ringtone to tell me he’s texting to come over… oh how I live for that ringtone now.