So I had a vent this morning. I was feeling so down. I still feel down. But I’m trying to be positive. It’s not my nature, or at least not my nurture. But I can try.
I like the shady side of the street. Actually I like the fog down to the sidewalk. That’s my sweet spot. 55 degrees fahrenheit, foggy & shrouded in cashmere. Yes, please & thank you.
But despite all the bad feelings I’ve got swirling through me there is a silver lining to my cloudy psyche. It’s far more familiar to focus on what’s fucked up, my “I fuck everything up, ruin every situation and am doomed to fuck up until I die, unless I figure out how to fuck that one up too” game is way too strong. And look, here’s another steaming example of the shit that piles up around me because I’m so fucked up. But even I know that I didn’t fuck this one up at some level. This kind of mind game is not in my make-up. And I am likely better off for it going away. Benedick Cumberwad be damned.
The reality is also that I am counting the days until Friday. “Friday, Friday, it comes after Thursday! And it is followed by Saturday!” is playing through my head. And I don’t even mind because I am that excited about Friday. I don’t want anyone thinking that I’m an ungrateful bitch. But it’s super weird to have such conflicting emotions at once.
Modern Dating is so fucking weird.
But is it Friday yet?