Those Puritans sure did a number on us. That Puritanical root is the real root of evil in this country, as far as I’m concerned. But I’m not gonna get all into that. But man, Puritanism is alive and well. Well, unwell actually.
The idea that life is about pleasure is pretty taboo. Seeking pleasure is viewed as lustful, self-indulgent, slutty. Pleasure isn’t just confined to sex, of course. But it’s not a word used much, except in relation to sex. And sex is all about pleasure. For me, anyway. I am not interested or available for breeding. I’m in it for the pleasure.
I’ve encountered very few men who are such pleasure seekers. There are so many hang-ups. This idea that no strings attached sex is just what so many men want isn’t really accurate in my opinion.
I am very sexual. Very much so. Society labels me sexually aggressive, simply because I really love sex and don’t pretend otherwise. If I connect with someone that way I have no issues of feeling like I should limit it, or make excuses why maybe we shouldn’t be having sex, not relationship material, yadda yadda. I can have a sexual relationship with a man and not fall in love and dream of sharing a mortgage. If I’m in it for the pleasure of their company, and the pleasure of sex with them, that can totally be enough.
I just do not understand why a man would be so caught up in finding an excuse to not have the most amazing sex with me once in a while. Dude. Pickle those beets later.
I could have hung out with a guy that I’m liking seeing so far. But I declined. a- he is a bit stand offish, maybe it’s his Englishness, maybe not, and he asked last-minute & more importantly b- I was texting with you know who about coming over for you know what. And it looked optimistic. So I hoped. And he dragged it on, made it seem he’d be coming then, no. Opt fucking out.
I’ve been promised time tonight. Promised! Wow. Never, ever, ever has that word been used. I’m so curious to see if that is actually real. And honored. I hope so. Because I’m so very fucking dying to see him.
I wish he wasn’t suffering from ppsd. Post Puritanical Stress Disorder is awful! It creates the guilt and shame about sex. About seeking pleasure. It creates a whole maze of bullshit that I am wishing I could just take him by the hand and show him the way out of.
He’s not inhibited. He’s a total pleasure seeker. And a total pleasure giver. But when we’re not together that ppsd goes to work telling him he shouldn’t be doing it. It’s maddening.
So much of life is hard. Is shit. Death and taxes, man. Fuck while you can. Especially when you find the perfectly compatible partner. Uh.
I know about pain and suffering and being cold, but I just wanna fuck.
And fuck Puritanicalism.