Oh, Benedict…

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It’s perhaps the end of an era. A short era, sure, but an era nonetheless. Benedict really was part of the impetus that made me start Spinsterhag in the first place. And he broke my 3 year celibacy streak. Ironically now he’s vowing celibacy. Sigh. Deep fucking sigh.

Benedicking-me-around  IsCelibate-now. Doesn’t have a ring to it. At all.

I’m in a weird pop-up reality where I’ve become the bachelorette, but the guys are not beige or douchey and there’s no “put a ring on it” pressure. I kind of suddenly wound up with two and a half “boyfriends”.  Guess who’s the half?

(No one is really a boyfriend yet… don’t freak out Mr. Boss Man. And my dearest Bene-driving-me-crazy Cumming-and-opting-out, you know you are the half not because I want it that way. I know you don’t want to be my boyfriend. But celibate? Wow. OK.

I respect your choice, while vehemently despising it at the same time. I of course hope you’ll miss me too much and come back. Even for a cuddle. I adore you and your confounding logic. But I have to accept that you might not. And I can’t tempt you back.

I’m super fucking stoked to be dating two super lovely men. I highly recommend it. And I just sound like a cunt if I cry over the half that got away.

I’m not crying. Oh I have. But I’m pretty well smitten with my Englishman and my sk8 dude. I’m really counting my lucky fucking stars! I was certain no man would ever touch me again. That I was a total hag. And now, look at me! The middle-aged Bachelorette!

Benedict brought me out of my hermit, celibate, not entirely confident state. He woke me back up to remembering that I am pretty awesome. And sexy. And not a total hag. I’m so grateful. I’ll miss him, maybe forever. But I hope he comes back before that.

2 1/2 boyfriends is the perfect amount!

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