Deja vu is a thing people know of. But all day I’ve been experiencing nostalgia vu, which I think I just invented.
I’ve been sappy as fuck all day. Good sappy. Bad sappy. Sappy fucking sappy. The clouds made me cry. On the # 15 bus. The clouds. At least I have giant sunglasses to hide my tears.
I keep seeing or smelling things today that throw me back in time and space. Into memories that are so present in my body yet I’m also present in the present. It’s quite delicious. And strange.
The scent of my new perfume sent me straight to San Francisco Japan town. A street and the heat downtown put me in Paris, for a brief moment of bliss. Spotting the big dipper in the darkening sky whilst standing in bath water warm air shot me back to standing in the yard in Durban, staring at the familiar stars displaced, beautifully disorienting.
Sights often give me a taste in my mouth, a texture. I’m often nostalgic, fuck, I have that fucking lamp. Today I felt like I was on some kind of drug that was giving me such layers of time, space, taste, texture. Nostalgia vu. It’s weird. It’s tears streaming out my eyes at the glimpse of light off a cloud inducing. Deliciously disorienting.
When the present time is wrought with complexity it’s nice to be fed a gentle stream of mildly escapist, dreamlike waking moments of feeling how time is all now. How its layered on itself. How it can unspool, rewind, super-impose.
I guess if I’m going to be feeling quite confused it is preferable to have it be enjoyable!