Post # 69

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This is post number 69! Wow! When I started out this blog I had no idea how long I’d keep it up. How much I’d write. How much I’d come to rely on these posts as a super weird form of public journaling/therapy. I’m addicted.

When I saw that I was up to the 69th post I was amazed. And I knew exactly what I’d write about. Duh.

69ing is my favorite. My absolute favorite. As I’ve said, the best dates end in 69ing.

You learn a lot about a partner from 69ing. Are they selfish? Can they multi-task? Are they listening to your signs and adapting to meet your needs? Do they just thrust straight down your throat super aggressively like you have a fleshlight in there? When I’m really feeling it can they let their pleasure take a backseat and finish the task before getting their own task handled? It’s such a play of reciprocity. Which is key of good sex for me.

I think it’s a great sort of test to really find out about what they’re like as a lover. And it is important that any lover of mine loves to do it, as it’s a staple of my sex life. And my absolute favorite.

Men are always shocked at how much I love it. Many have said they never really liked it before doing it with me. I get the impression that many women, despite being straight and fucking men, do not like giving oral sex. Huh. Why not? I don’t get it. But I do get lots of gushing & glowing compliments from dudes for my skill and enthusiasm. If all it took to find your forever man was giving the best blow job I would have been married long ago!

But I’m not so sure I care about marriage. I never did when I was younger. You know, 37. Now that I’m 45 and still alone I wonder about it. But I don’t care about some document. I want a partner, someone to share life with. The part of a wedding that appeals to me is the dress, party and excuse to buy and drink too much very expensive champagne. Maybe I’d like a ring. But when I see how much they cost I’d rather have a totally baller style trip to Scandinavia. Or a moderate Chanel shopping spree.

I am really enjoying having 2 lovers. I know, ew, that word. But sex partner is so clinical and fuck buddy too crass. 2 dudes I’m hanging out with and fucking is too long. So. But it’s really nice having two different dudes. 2 different cocks. 2 unique snowflakes to taste on my tongue.

Of course I’d love a threesome. I’d love a 4-some, but Bene-vowed to-never-again Come-eat-my-snatch has opted out. Sigh. That man sure can 69.

But don’t worry, Ed Naughty and Andy from weeds. Y’all sure can too. I don’t compare you. You’re all the best. I only ever think about who I’m with when I’m with them. Who could think about another guy with such a lovely one in front of them. Or maybe behind. But I must say it’s pretty nice to have variety. If someone told you you’d only be allowed to eat 1 flavor of ice cream until death you’d think they were crazy. And dick is way more delicious than ice cream.

Fuck. I think Portland is slowly trying to turn me polyamorous. Is it something in the water?

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