I’m pretty much the queen of TMI. And it can really fuck things up.
I’ve never dated multiple people before. I have jumped into relationships too many times so seeing a few people and seeing how it goes seemed like a good alternative. But like a TMI queen I’m fucking journaling about it online. Awkward. Complicated.
And I also talk about my life with these guys, which includes other guys. Not anything intimate. Duh. But just stuff. And I didn’t think the dudes would care. But duh. Boys have feelings too, despite hiding them very well.
I am now stopping talking about the dudes with the dudes. I’m obviously a bit thick in the head to have not made this rule beforehand. But I don’t know what I’m doing. This blog is one of the few things that makes sense in my life at present. Yeah. Yikes.
I don’t want to fuck up a good thing. I don’t want to screw things up before I know what’s up with said things. I pretty much live in constant terror of fucking up anything good that ever happens. And terror for me induces bouts of serious TMI. Yep. So awesome.
I can control my mouth though, just ask all those dicks I’ve sucked before!
But all kidding aside I really need to zip it. It’s not easy not having girlfriends here in town to blab to. I guess I felt like I could talk to the guys like I talk to my friends. But I can’t. Not about the other dudes, duh.
I can’t stop writing. I really can’t. But I don’t want to make guys I really like feel like shit, or even just annoyed. I don’t know if it’s jealousy or competitiveness or what but I shouldn’t have expected it to be ok. Again, thick headed sometimes.
Ed has a first date I’m fine with this… yet I did notice a feeling akin to a minuscule shade of jealousy that I don’t want to feel but I do. I can deal with it. But if Ed starts talking about her all the time weeping will occur sooner or later. And now I feel like a total cunt.
Maybe, by like age 85 I’ll have reached some level of competence and grace in dealing with my fellow humans.
A girl can dream, right?