TMI queen

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I’m pretty much the queen of TMI. And it can really fuck things up.

I’ve never dated multiple people before.  I have jumped into relationships too many times so seeing a few people and seeing how it goes seemed like a good alternative.  But like a TMI queen I’m fucking journaling about it online.  Awkward.  Complicated.

And I also talk about my life with these guys, which includes other guys.  Not anything intimate.  Duh. But just stuff.  And I didn’t think the dudes would care.  But duh.  Boys have feelings too, despite hiding them very well.

I am now stopping talking about the dudes with the dudes. I’m obviously a bit thick in the head to have not made this rule beforehand.  But I don’t know what I’m doing.  This blog is one of the few things that makes sense in my life at present.  Yeah.  Yikes.

I don’t want to fuck up a good thing. I don’t want to screw things up before I know what’s up with said things.  I pretty much live in constant terror of fucking up anything good that ever happens. And terror for me induces bouts of serious TMI.  Yep.  So awesome.

I can control my mouth though, just ask all those dicks I’ve sucked before!

But all kidding aside I really need to zip it.  It’s not easy not having girlfriends here in town to blab to. I guess I felt like I could talk to the guys like I talk to my friends. But I can’t. Not about the other dudes, duh.

I can’t  stop writing.  I really can’t. But I don’t want to make guys I really like feel like shit, or even just annoyed.  I don’t know if it’s jealousy or competitiveness or what but I shouldn’t have expected it to be ok. Again, thick headed sometimes.

Ed has a first date   I’m fine with this…  yet  I did notice a feeling akin to a minuscule shade of jealousy that I don’t want to feel but I do. I can deal with it.  But if Ed starts talking about her all the time weeping will occur sooner or later.  And now I feel like a total cunt.

Maybe, by like age 85 I’ll have reached some level of competence and grace in dealing with my fellow humans.

A girl can dream, right?

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