I have a lot of OCD tendencies. I can be very, very particular. I like shit organized. It can drive me crazy but I try to keep it in check.
Lately it’s really been, like, flaring up.
My clothing drawers are grateful. But my work can really suffer when I’m super OCD-ing out. I get nit-picky. I try to be chill but it’s compulsive, dude… it’s hard. I do my best, which sometimes is really very shite.
It’s good timing for a vacation. I’m leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks in Iceland. My beloved. I love that place dearly, since my first visit 10 years ago, to the month. I’ll be free to relax, I won’t have to help anyone with their back pain or postural issues. I’ll be outside my routine and be jogged into a more present state. Things will be different and my urge for sameness and order will be overpowered by new stimuli, that is also familiar after so many visits. It’s like going on vacation and coming home at once.
I am unsure what has brought on this flare up. I’ve never thought of it having a flare up before, like sciatica, but that’s exactly how it is.
I have had a lot of chaos. Too many dicks will do that.
Time to slow down. And some things have shaken themselves out and I’ve got clarity, finally. I’ll be writing about all that soon enough, but for now it’s just tumbling around my mind like laundry. When I’m in Iceland it’ll be like hanging my mind on a clothesline, for the ocean breeze to cool down and clear out. Soaking in the hot pot at my favorite public swimming pool will relax my muscles. By Wednesday night I’ll be full of fish soup and happy as a fucking clam.
Are clams really that happy?