breaking up is…

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(not my image)

They say breaking up is hard to do, but it seems like it’s easier to do than staying together.

My relationship is over. Quite unceremoniously. Done. Great.

I’m crushed, crushed flat. I feel too tired to be sad. Too tired to feel.

Relationships take work but you can’t do it alone. If one person isn’t interested in working on it, it’s over. Now I am back to being alone and working on my self, my life, my career. With no partner, with no love and support to carry me through when I feel challenged, hopeless. Ok. Same old, same old.

I can do this. But fuck, I want love. I want a life with someone. I want someone to dream with, hope with, weather the storms of life with. But for now I’m on my own, in the rain, dreading the coming spring when all the lovey couples cavorting in the sunshine together.

I can’t stomach the thought of entering the dating pool again. Drowning seems preferable. Time will tell. I’m guessing that my spinsterhag fate might just be what it is. If by my advanced age I’m still alone I should probably just give up. Take up knitting.

If only I could get a cat!

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