adrift

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not my image, googled “uninspired” & voila!

 

Forgive me, it’s been 48 days since my last post.

I was so happy in Iceland. I was so happy to come home to elskan min. I was just happy.

Then some things combined to conspire against my sunny disposition. Winter, for one. Without the pool, hot tub, sauna, steam room or nature hot springs to warm me up I’ve been feeling cold, tired of the grey skies, rain and dark. It’s freezing in my uninsulated house. I bundle up but I’m cold. In multiple sweaters.

I am also recovering from an injury. It is getting better, slowly, but anything can flare it up and then I’m really hurting. All the things I’d love to be doing hurt it. Sewing. Typing blog posts. Reorganizing, decluttering, cleaning, all things I actually really need to do and do enjoy, weird but true. So I’ve been resting. And it’s made me restless.

Work isn’t going great. That isn’t helping either. Perimenopause is also not helping, I’m often weepy, crying at sappy songs on the radio, or some random sight out the bus window. I’m sinking into something depression-adjacent. I feel adrift, from my self.

I had some great ideas for posts when I was just returning from Iceland. But I was busy reuniting with elskan min, too busy to be writing. Now I can’t remember ever having a brilliant idea for anything, let alone this blog.

So I’m writing about not knowing what to write about. Metta, I know. Maybe I’ll build some momentum. I need to be creative. Not being creative or able to clean is making me feel very unhappy. I literally spent most of yesterday feeling like I’m a total failure and have wasted my entire life. Today was a little better. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel like my self has finally come ashore on the raft it’s been drifting on, grounded instead of floating aimlessly. Maybe tuesday I’ll have an idea of some decent proportion.

 

Ok, now I’ve got to go do my ice/heat therapy, my body isn’t willing to type anymore. Spinsterhag isn’t a spring chicken anymore. But she’s not dead either!

Long live Spinsterhag!

Not too shabby

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I began blogging on May 31, & now 7 months later I’m still going, even if I’ve slowed down a bit.

I’m so grateful for discovering this outlet and even more for the people who are reading & following!  I can’t believe how many visitors & views have racked up.

I’m planning to get to work on creating a book next year, & will also make a spinsterhag t-shirt once I’ve got an image.  Perhaps I’ll be the new “eat, pray, love” bitch on the block!  Or maybe it’ll just be for my own enjoyment.  Either way this has been a wonderful adventure that I’m very excited to see where it takes me.

Happy new year, dear Haglets!

Bring on the year of the Hag!