Aurora

BD9FF1D2-A254-497B-BCB0-E131856F003BI got a truly magical display of the northern lights last night. My friend & I had gone out for drinks. After the bar closed we were outside, looking up hoping to see some northern lights.  And then a small strip of green appeared! So we kept watching and lo & behold that small strip opened up into a dancing array of green, purple & pink, rapidly flowing and changing.  It was pure gorgeousness! My friend had never seen them move so much in all the times she’s seen them!  It was just amazing.

The long dark days here do have a beautiful benefit. The aurora happens all year but you can’t see it in the summer months when the light is almost 24 hours a day.  I feel so lucky to have seen this gorgeous phenomenon!

Iceland just keeps getting better & better all the time.

Jól

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It’s Christmas Eve in Iceland. The children are decorating the tree with lights and candies. Food is being prepared. I’m so grateful to be here experiencing Icelandic Jòl with my friends, feeling part of the family.  It’s not so much about the gifts as it is the experience of sharing time with family & friends, sharing food and enjoying the cozy time.

The only way this trip could be better would be if elskan mín was here with me.  I miss him terribly. I want to share my love of Iceland with him, introduce him to my friends and have adventures here together. Hopefully soon.

I both never want to leave & to go home to my love as soon as possible. That’s how I know it’s really love, he makes me glad when it’s time to go back home because he is there.

I hope you all are having a wonderful time today, whatever your beliefs or traditions. Even if it’s just relief that holidays are almost over! I hope the New Year is a wonderful one for us all. In a world that looks grim the light of love, friends & family is all we have. I’m so grateful.

Bring on 2019, the year of the Hag!

50 followers!

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I’m in Akureyri.  It’s amazing.  Spending Christmas with my friends is so wonderful.  I’m missing elskan mín but other than that it’s perfect.

I’ve reached 50 followers!  Thanks to everyone who follows or just reads, I’m just floored that anyone is interested in my writings.  I’m so grateful. It’s saved my sanity & I hope it helps others do the same. We all need to know we are not alone.

I’m going to keep on writing and hopefully create a book in the new year. I am really proud of myself for following through with this blog. I needed an outlet and I just made one out of thin air. We all have hidden resources that if we dare tap into can save us from ourselves. This is at the heart of spinsterhag.  I’m just trying to understand my self, my life. I’m sometimes just ranting into the ether to keep from tearing my hair out. I never expected to have strangers read it.  I feel actually blessed to be reaching people around the world with my writing. I do this for me but if anyone feels better after reading that is the icing on the cake.

I’m wishing everyone a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrate.  I’m just celebrating being alive and  not too depressed to enjoy it.  I’m celebrating being in love, having dear friends to spend time & laugh with, getting older and seeing another year approach as this one comes to pass.

When I look back to a year ago I can hardly believe how far I’ve come.  I feel like I’m finally able to see a future.  I have no idea what it holds but I welcome it.

2019, the year of the hag!

 

A Very Spinsterhag Christmas starts now

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Don’t need fish soup, takk.

 

I have not written in way too long. Sorry/not sorry.  I’m renewing my fervor.  Don’t worry.  Love won’t kill my blog.

But it is censoring it.  SO MANY things I would write if elskan mín didn’t mind, but it’s ok.  I respect him. I still have plenty to write about.

A Very Spinsterhag Christmas starts now. Landing in Iceland tomorrow 6am Iceland time.  So excited. I will post my adventures. Stay tuned.  & the book is in the works. & t shirts.

2019, the year of the hag.

the first “fight”

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(if only our first “fight” was in Iceland driving the ring road like this photo appears to be, so romantic!)

 

We had our first fight. An argument, sort of. Really a misunderstanding, miscommunication, a discussion that got emotional and ultimately ended in a wonderful talk that clarified some real key issues and brought us closer. But in the middle of it I was terrified. That I would ruin everything.

I don’t like to fight. Or argue. It’s not fun. I love to discuss, and I’ve found a man who likes me having “strong opinions” and we can disagree on things and there is no problem. This is wonderful.

But while my emotions were getting the best of me I was feeling total despair. I want him to understand me, to see me as I am. When I realized that he had gotten this skewed image and I was trying to make things clear I was so scared that I’d fail  or maybe he’d decide I wasn’t “good enough” for him.  But then we talked it out and it was so good to resolve things through the tears and confusion.

I love him SO much. And this gratitude feels so good, almost as good as being in his arms.

We are going to spend Thanksgiving with my family.  I’ve never taken a boyfriend to a family function, ever. I wish he could meet my mom so much. I think she’d approve. I’m looking forward to this milestone, and all the ones to follow.

Spinsterhag is turning into a grownup!

 

still growing…

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(whoever is the artist responsible for this, thank you. it’s gorgeous.)

 

My life has changed drastically in the past month. Since I’ve been back from my epic Iceland visit I’ve been so happy. I’m in love. I’m creating things, making my home gorgeous, organizing & decorating. And shopping. Must. Stop. Shopping.

I go through phases. And I can go through compulsive shopping phases. Dangerous. But fruitful. I’ve got some epic items due to these phases. But I need to keep it in check.

I’ve decided to make October an Official Stop Shopping Month for me. I’ll start tomorrow, and go through November 1. Then I may need to buy some Christmas gifts, but I’m really committing to stopping shopping. I’ve been collecting some divine vintage pieces as well as just adding to my fall/winter wardrobe but I have enough. For real.

I have a lot of clothing. A. Lot. I collect clothing. And hats.

I want to collect all manner of things. It’s in my blood. My mother was a pack-rat. My father was a hoarder. Epic, mentally ill level hoarding. It made me realize I had a propensity for such behavior. Now I have some perspective I also see that compulsive shopping binges may run in my family. I need to stay in check.

I went through several years of being so poor. Food stamps poor. Using paper napkins saved from when I could afford take-out as toilet paper, because food stamps can’t buy toilet paper and I had no extra money after paying my rent and bills. It sucked. I didn’t but anything for so long. Now I’ve made up for lost time. Now it’s time to save money, like the Bonus Pig.

I’ve also got to figure out what the fuck to write about now that I’m in a relationship and done dating, and relaying my hell and hedonistic adventures. Elskan min isn’t into being exposed here, I gotta keep on writing and find a new path. I’ve got some ideas. You’ll see them soon. Spinsterhag style will be coming. As well as Spinsterhag clothing. T-shirts will only be the tip of the Iceberg.

So, Lara…

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Spinsterhag is changing. I started out so frustrated… with dating, without sex, it was a wonderful venting board. Then it just transformed my life to be letting that energy out and now I’m in love. Wonderful! But I have to keep writing. I cannot stop. So I’ll have to dig deep and find things to write about, despite all of the amazing cock I’m getting. Every. Day.

Being in love is lovely. Elskan min is lovely. Lovely lovely lovely. I hope I’m not making people gag in the street with how lovey-dovey I am. Sorry/not sorry.  I can’t believe that I’ve actually moved on from my Benedict obsession, but I actually have! It was great while it lasted. But elskan min is everything. It’s bananas how good it is. Newly exciting and deeply comfortable at the same time. Ah, being in love is so lovely.

I’m also more in love with Iceland than ever before! While I wished he was with me, I had a different kind of awesome time on my own and with my girlfriends. It was epic. I’m going back for Christmas! A Very Special Spinsterhag Christmas will be coming to a theatre near you early 2019!

I’ve been struggling in Portland to find good, lasting girlfriends. One was amazing but moved to Minnesota. I have an amazing girlfriend in Eugene, but I need someone in the town I live in perhaps? I hope I do find a good girlfriend here in Portland but the ones I have in Iceland are truly the fucking best!  I’ll be turning 46 in Akureri and cackling under the northern lights in the hot tub with my new friends.

In love with elskan min. In love with Iceland. Happy to be home in Portland. So fucking happy.  I am so grateful and feel so blessed, I just hope I don’t look so happy that I’m making people gag.

Sorry/not sorry!

#Tinderworks