Not too shabby

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I began blogging on May 31, & now 7 months later I’m still going, even if I’ve slowed down a bit.

I’m so grateful for discovering this outlet and even more for the people who are reading & following!  I can’t believe how many visitors & views have racked up.

I’m planning to get to work on creating a book next year, & will also make a spinsterhag t-shirt once I’ve got an image.  Perhaps I’ll be the new “eat, pray, love” bitch on the block!  Or maybe it’ll just be for my own enjoyment.  Either way this has been a wonderful adventure that I’m very excited to see where it takes me.

Happy new year, dear Haglets!

Bring on the year of the Hag!

Bananas

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I am recently obsessed with bananas.  Not eating them. More with wearing them, & finding banana everything.  I hunted down banana print fabric and made my dream “Pilates pants” finally.  I’ve made a small collection of banana print clothes, photos will follow as soon as elskan mín has time off to help me document my emerging clothing line.

And I’m completely bananas for elskan mín.  We are a perfect pair. I am grateful every day that we found each other. He makes me so happy.  He is helping me remember that I’m funny and fun. He loves me, even things I thought no one would love. He does hate it when I interrupt him, a terrible habit I have that I’m trying to stop doing and since I really hate making him upset I am trying to remember to listen better even when I’m so excited to blurt things out. He makes me like myself a lot and also want to be better at the same time.  It’s everything I was wishing for.

Even if it seems impossible keep wishing. Keep dreaming. Be patient or impatient but don’t give up all hope. Keep a shred. Love can happen.

Even to a spinsterhag!

mad for plaid

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Lauren, & her awesome pin covered hat, comme de garçon cape at the KronKron store & finally my comme de garçon dress also from KronKron.

 

I’m crazy for plaid right now. My new dress is like a school uniform origami mash up, I absolutely adore it.  I’m collecting plaid shirts to make some crazy dresses & skirts. My mom’s 1960’s Singer sewing machine is churning out wonderful and weird reconstructions.  I’m so happy to be creating clothing again.

Expect to see more fashion here, both my own and people I find in Portland who agree to be spinsterhag stars!  And t-shirts are in the works!

As fall approaches I’m looking forward to really being productive, sewing up cashmere while soup simmers on the stove. Making hats while elskan mín makes fresh raviolis. But it’s still sunny and 70 degrees. Ok. Fine.  But winter is coming.

I can’t wait.

still growing…

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(whoever is the artist responsible for this, thank you. it’s gorgeous.)

 

My life has changed drastically in the past month. Since I’ve been back from my epic Iceland visit I’ve been so happy. I’m in love. I’m creating things, making my home gorgeous, organizing & decorating. And shopping. Must. Stop. Shopping.

I go through phases. And I can go through compulsive shopping phases. Dangerous. But fruitful. I’ve got some epic items due to these phases. But I need to keep it in check.

I’ve decided to make October an Official Stop Shopping Month for me. I’ll start tomorrow, and go through November 1. Then I may need to buy some Christmas gifts, but I’m really committing to stopping shopping. I’ve been collecting some divine vintage pieces as well as just adding to my fall/winter wardrobe but I have enough. For real.

I have a lot of clothing. A. Lot. I collect clothing. And hats.

I want to collect all manner of things. It’s in my blood. My mother was a pack-rat. My father was a hoarder. Epic, mentally ill level hoarding. It made me realize I had a propensity for such behavior. Now I have some perspective I also see that compulsive shopping binges may run in my family. I need to stay in check.

I went through several years of being so poor. Food stamps poor. Using paper napkins saved from when I could afford take-out as toilet paper, because food stamps can’t buy toilet paper and I had no extra money after paying my rent and bills. It sucked. I didn’t but anything for so long. Now I’ve made up for lost time. Now it’s time to save money, like the Bonus Pig.

I’ve also got to figure out what the fuck to write about now that I’m in a relationship and done dating, and relaying my hell and hedonistic adventures. Elskan min isn’t into being exposed here, I gotta keep on writing and find a new path. I’ve got some ideas. You’ll see them soon. Spinsterhag style will be coming. As well as Spinsterhag clothing. T-shirts will only be the tip of the Iceberg.

Post 100! (how did I get here?!)

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This is my one hundredth post! Wow! I didn’t expect to get here. I certainly did not expect to be in love, in a relationship and so happy I smile for no reason, a bit less than 4 months after my first post. I met elskan min 2 months after the birth of spinsterhag, to the day. It was a weird start, with me dating 2 other dudes, although Benedict wasn’t really “dating”. Ed Norton was barely “dating”. My amazing boyfriend said “I don’t like that you’re dating other guys, but You’re Worth It so I’ll deal with it.”  That was epic. And terrifying. I had gotten so used to being jerked around by wild chemistry followed by vows of celibacy, or just the garden variety hot/cold/does-he-like-me?doesn’t-he-like-me? bullshit. Someone just upfront, into me and not afraid of a weird situation but willing to wait it out. Because I Am Worth It. It is amazing. And I am worth it.

It takes work for me to feel worthy. My dad destroyed my sense of self-worth, right at the time of life when I blossomed into womanhood. At 12. I hated my new body, and then I just hated myself. It took almost 20 years to really start to have a deep confidence, which comes and goes, but I am no longer so afraid of feeling good about myself.

I’ve struggled with depression since early childhood. I was really drowning in it when I started writing, but angry enough that I had some fire under the overwhelming sadness, some traction to create. I’ve been doing really well with my depression, blogging, bone broth and boning my boyfriend all seem to be the perfect prescription for me.

I am so grateful for finding elskan min. He is amazing. He is so sexy. So cute. So funny. He’s the best. The Best! Blah, blah,blah.

And despite the lovefest, Spinsterhag carries on. I can’t wait to see where it all is in a year’s time. Hopefully the book will be underway! And t-shirts. T-shirts are coming.

Sk8Hag Forever! (just lay there!)

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I can’t believe how in love I am! It’s been so long that I feared I was completely broken, incapable  of finding someone I connected with and had a mutual level of interest/attraction/communication/humor/sex-drive/sexual-interest/etc. I was so wrong.

Unbelievably, we found each other on Tinder. Yes. Tinder. Bless that shit, it worked.

We have the same super fucked up humor. We make each other laugh. So often. So hard.

We have beautifully meshing libidos. He’s exactly the same kind of sensual/sexual as me, and it’s amazing.

I can even sleep well next to him, even this early on, which is rare for me. Although I do still wake him up touching him sometimes and make him mad in his sleep. He barked at me the other night (when I touched his hip with my ice-cold hands) “just lay there!” and had zero memory of doing so. Now it’s an inside joke.

If we were famous, like Brangelina, our name would be Sk8Hag, obviously.

Merch is coming, just like winter. Spinsterhag t-shirts will exist. I might even make some special, one-of-a-kind shirts with fringy hair and google eyes. My inner spinsterhag is itching to create, now that I’ve got love and sex and friendship I’m feeling so creative again. My refrigerator has become a giant mood board. A wonderfully weird mood board, complete with inappropriate use of vintage children’s learning toys and a collection of art cards I’ve been accumulating  for years. I feel like I’m blossoming into myself in a way that I’ve longed to do but didn’t know how. For the first time in a long time I’m looking at life as a gift, not a chore or a waiting room. It feels good.

If I had any advice it’d be “get weird. let it out. don’t care if you’re too weird. it’s funner than too boring”.

Like attracts like, and I’ve found my weird-mate. He’s the best. He doesn’t read this because he says it feels too much like reading my diary. He’s so sweet. And salty. My favorite combination.

 

 

So, Lara…

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Spinsterhag is changing. I started out so frustrated… with dating, without sex, it was a wonderful venting board. Then it just transformed my life to be letting that energy out and now I’m in love. Wonderful! But I have to keep writing. I cannot stop. So I’ll have to dig deep and find things to write about, despite all of the amazing cock I’m getting. Every. Day.

Being in love is lovely. Elskan min is lovely. Lovely lovely lovely. I hope I’m not making people gag in the street with how lovey-dovey I am. Sorry/not sorry.  I can’t believe that I’ve actually moved on from my Benedict obsession, but I actually have! It was great while it lasted. But elskan min is everything. It’s bananas how good it is. Newly exciting and deeply comfortable at the same time. Ah, being in love is so lovely.

I’m also more in love with Iceland than ever before! While I wished he was with me, I had a different kind of awesome time on my own and with my girlfriends. It was epic. I’m going back for Christmas! A Very Special Spinsterhag Christmas will be coming to a theatre near you early 2019!

I’ve been struggling in Portland to find good, lasting girlfriends. One was amazing but moved to Minnesota. I have an amazing girlfriend in Eugene, but I need someone in the town I live in perhaps? I hope I do find a good girlfriend here in Portland but the ones I have in Iceland are truly the fucking best!  I’ll be turning 46 in Akureri and cackling under the northern lights in the hot tub with my new friends.

In love with elskan min. In love with Iceland. Happy to be home in Portland. So fucking happy.  I am so grateful and feel so blessed, I just hope I don’t look so happy that I’m making people gag.

Sorry/not sorry!

#Tinderworks