Hot flash

 

 

I decided to take a lovely hot bath it bath last night. It was lovely. Until a hot flash struck.  I jumped out of the tub and almost passed out.  I wrapped my towel around me and went outside onto the deck, into the freezing Icelandic night. Ahhhh.  Blissful cold air!  The solution to hot flashes-  move to Iceland!

I’ve not had a period for about 80 days now.  Who knows when & even if  I’ll have another. I used to be like clockwork!  It’s really weird to have no idea when or if it’s coming.

The hot flashes are the worst. I used to love bundling up in cold weather but now I have to be able to get some cold air on my skin immediately so my previous layering system is now defunct. I’m glad I’ve got some fabulous coats.  Now I understand those women who I used to wonder “isn’t she cold?” about.  No.  Not cold. She’s sweating in winter because her body has become a furnace.

Isn’t middle age fun?

still waiting…

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I’m still waiting for my period to start. In vain. Much like I wait for that damn harp sound to float from my phone.

In keeping with my purchasing of super-lady-part-items I was compelled to buy one of these menstrual cups. Why, I am unsure. The idea of insertion is troubling. Ditto removal. But I like to be good for the environment and not create excess trash. I may be menstruating for 10 more years!

Or I may never ever get another period again, because I bought this damn thing.

I’m actually kind of anticipating trying it out. I think because it’s so pink that it makes me drawn to it. It’s so cute The instructions on how to insert, remove, and better yet , what to do if it gets stuck  and removal proves difficult,  are not cute.  But at least I’ve got a pamphlet so I know how to handle to situation. If said situation ever arises again.

I am hoping that there are no YouTube videos about how to use these. But maybe I hope there are. If it gets stuck we’ll all find out.

I’m pretty sure that if I never get another period again I will not lament this unnecessary  purchase. But it’s not like I can, like, donate it to some cause that gives hygiene products to girls and women in need. It’s boil-able and sterilizable but who wants a second-hand menstrual cup?

Might even be too weird for a Portland free-box.

 

my lady parts are dying

Yep. I bought a pregnancy test and an emergency contraception. At the same time. Me & the checkout lady were laughing. I assured her that I knew that this wasn’t how it all works, and that the pregnancy test was mostly a confirmation of peri-menopause bullshit than an actual concern of actual pregnancy. I could be potentially pregnant. I am having sex. With condoms, of course. One dude has had a vasectomy, but it could happen with the other one. Condoms can fail. But I’m not pregnant. I’m just dying. Well, my lady parts are anyway.

It’s weird, to have my lady parts dying. I mean, I’m not, like, using them, per se, but it’s weird.

I don’t want to breed. But I sure love to fuck.

I live in terror that menopause will kill my sex drive altogether. I do not want that. I love sex.

This is one reason I’m so fucking furious that Benedict is celibate and opting out of my dying lady parts. I want to have as much sex as I can while I want it. And that chemistry.

But I’m having sex. As my shopping cart indicates. And I’m having really great sex. I’d just like to be having so much more of it. But some is better than none. And quality is better than quantity. And I’m getting quality, for sure.

I have always had a crazy high sex drive. I rarely find a man who matches me this way. Which is fine, I’m not enduring some massive hardship or anything, but I do want to have a sex life, hopefully for many many more years. Maybe since my libido is high it won’t die along with my lady parts.

A girl can dream.